Shima's Blog

Jangan bersedih.. tapi redhalah.. these are the words of advice people keep telling me today.. I am redha.. but it will take me some time to process that information

This Morning

This morning my mum called telling me my grandmother (paternal side) passed away. I couldn't believe my ears. It was just last week we went back to Kelantan to see her. She was bedridden due to minor stroke, she looked so small and petite.. I couldn't stand to look at her that way..

She was asleep when I came.. but when I got nearer she woke up, quickly reaching her other hand to me, calling my name.. well she tried too.. she couldn't speak properly after the stroke. Her eyes full of tears, miming to me "you came to see me Ima? I missed you..." I understood and nodded. She slowly pulled my hand near her cheek and cried.. The she said "Tok ma dah tak lama, Tok Ma minta maaf"... I told her that I am her granddaughter, no need to apologize for anything, "you'll be fine Tok Ma, don't talk nonsense".. I gave her some water and massaged her feet.. "You just need to move bit by bit and you'll be fine".. She looked at me and my mom without saying anything.. trying to smile..

We visited her for two days (Sat & Sun) and we had to leave Kelantan before Monday starts. She didn't want us to go, afraid that she'll never see us again.. My mum assured her that she'll be fine and that we'll hire someone who can help take care and massage her. She signalled me for a hug and I hugged her. I told her not to worry Papa will visit her again next Saturday. She said that I'm the only granddaughter that she has.. "I know Tok Ma, I love you too.."

No more tomorrow

That was a week before... today she's not here anymore.. I just can't grasp that.. I keep thinking what went wrong? She was fine, the stroke didn't look as serious... I feel so useless that I can't do much for her..

Redha

The only thing I can do is sedekah the verses of the Qur'an for her. May Allah bless and pardon her.. I miss you Tok Ma... thank you for loving me and praying for me all this while.. I thank Allah for blessing me with the ni'mat of such wonderful people in my life...

Many of you asked me, so, how's the PTD exam? I just didn't know how to explain it coz it's a looong story. But I found this website that explains on what I went through at the PAC (PTD Assessment Centre). I'm still waiting for the result, don't know if I "sukacita" or "dukacita" yet. But any of you who want to give it a shot, here's the general idea on what I went through in the 2nd assessment.

Taken from here

Sedikit sorotan sesi Assessment Center dalam tempoh 10 tahun terakhir ini;

• Sebelum 2008, penilaian 3 hari
• 2008 sehingga 2010, penilaian 1 hari
• Mac 2011, penilaian 2 hari ---- (Mine took 2 days, food and accommodation all paid for, my room was super nice with a view :P)
  

Tapi sayugia dimaklumi bahawa penilaian era awal Assessment Center lebih mencabar daripada era pasca 2000. Format ini sentiasa berubah untuk mengekalkan tahap ‘eksklusif’ dan sulit penilaian ini yang menjadi penunjuk aras ‘prestij’ jawatan Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik. Bagi yang layak mendudukinya, ucapkan TAHNIAH kepada diri anda kerana inilah laluan kepada jawatan ‘keramat’ dalam jajaran ‘Perkhidmatan Awam’

Secara umumnya format baru kali ini lebih kepada kerjasama kumpulan. Seawal sesi lagi sudah dibahagikan kepada kumpulan dan semua aktiviti sepanjang 2 hari penilaian adalah dalam kumpulan. Secara umumnya penilaian dicerakinkan dalam beberapa juzuk aktiviti yang merangkumi;

• Perbincangan kumpulan (My group discussed on Gangsterism)
  
• Penyelesaian masalah berbentuk permainan (We were given IQ riddles that needed to be solved physically and systematically)
  
• Perancangan berdasarkan masalah/tugasan yang diberi (Our team took the role of landscape designers which we have to brainstorm a situation based on the client's preference)
  
• Aktiviti fizikal (2.4km run + aerobic dance)
  
• Pembentangan tugasan (Individual task - My topic was on Healthy Lifestyle)
  
• Kreativiti (We were given a few recyclable items and were asked to come up with an innovative, futuristic product. We need to make it, present it and prove that out 'futuristic junk' works, hehe)
  
• Mempertahankan idea (I forgot about this one, but there was a task on handling a big event in Putrajaya. We were supposed to come up with itinerary, program schedules, teams and activities within 15mins. The facilitator will critic on it and it's up to us to defend our ideas)
  

Ada beberapa aktiviti yang dipecahkan kepada dua sesi, satu dalam Bahasa Melayu dan satu lagi dalam Bahasa Inggeris (i.e perbincangan kumpulan). Jadi kemampuan berbahasa dinilai sepenuhnya dalam aktiviti sepanjang 2 hari ini. Pembentangan tugasan dilakukan sepenuhnya dalam Bahasa Inggeris

Satu tambahan tugasan yang buat pertama kalinya dilakukan dalam penilaian pasca tahun 2000 adalah sesi pembentangan tugasan di mana satu sesi khusus 3 jam diberikan untuk pembahagian tajuk dan kajian boleh dilakukan menggunakan internet talian sendiri atau di makmal komputer pusat penilaian. Ianya satu implimentasi gerak kerja terancang yang harus ada pada setiap pegawai PTD (rancang dengan teliti sebelum perlaksanaan)

Ramai yang takut pada aktiviti fizikal, dan anda sewajarkan gentar. Ianya adalah gabungan kerjasama kumpulan dan larian 2.4KM. Jika anda perasan ianya adalah adaptasi (bukan gabungan) penilaian fizikal format 1 hari (senamrobik, aerobik berirama, larian) dan 3 hari (larian 2.4KM), jadi boleh dikatakan ianya lebih komprehensif dan lebih memenatkan.

Perkara yang paling menarik perhatian ialah aktiviti perbincangan kumpulan yang menggunakan keratan sumber akhbar! Kita selalu diingatkan sedari awal sesi peperiksaan bertulis untuk banyak membaca akhbar.

So yeah, that is basically what I did on those 2 days. For me, it was challenging, fun, stressful and it was a meaningful experience.